This past week has been pretty great. Every day has been one of enlightenment and learning. It's the new amount of art that I'm exposed to per day. It's also the people I now talk to, their ideas, the environment that accompanies Stac. I'm learning life lessons, most importantly, on acceptance, individualism, and the respect for others in art. Still, nothing is totally clear. Nothing is resolved. I've concluded nothing. Just ideas.

Dadaism. I used to get slightly angry or irritated when I thought about "too" abstract art, namely anti-art (I know now what it is called). The randomness was awful. I remember going to MOMA a couple of times and getting frustrated that I couldn't figure anything out. A lot of the stuff, I thought, was just random shit put together. There was no beauty and ultimately, no meaning. I came to Stac searching for such answers, trying to build the ability to interpret and understand all kinds of art. But as of this week, things have changed. I'm learning to be "unconcerned, but not indifferent". My obsession for tangible explanations is dissolving, and I'm beginning to think that answers are rather worthless compared to the beauty of discovery and longing. I don't care much for them right now. Back to Dadaism. After today's homework, I see Dada not as an art, but as a tool to resist the bourgeois current. I linked Dada to anti-art to culture jamming to the Situationist Internationale to Fight Club, which is really cool. Now, Dada looks more like a group of badass guys who thought it'd be cool or funny or even necessary to annoy and upset upper classmen through a fundamental part of bourgeois culture: art. I've always loved expression of lower class subculture, namely NYC 80's graff bombing.

On another note, the audition today was fun. I got sucked in. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I don't even necessarily want to be in the play. But, I'm surprised how well I went along with everything. I never stopped once to think about what I was doing. God, it's funny and embarrassing to write about today. I tried to act. It's weird. I'm proud of all the things I was able to do, but disappointed that I wasn't able to do better. I know what I did wrong and what I could've done better. And I don't even take acting seriously at all. Maybe I need to stop putting a high standard for myself. Get rid of the need to be great or to impress people, and be comfortable accepting my mistakes. This was more of an acting class than an audition for me. It was, actually, incredibly fun. I have this personal theory with acting, more on that later.