I've begun mapping out ideas for my film project. I was stuck for a bit, and I just spent time playing around with ideas and seeing where they went, but at one point during the night, I figured out what I want to do! All this time I just needed an idea to start with, a stepping stone. I had all these secondary ideas, but no start. Luke gave me this documentary to watch called Tarnation, which was a real trip. It's all collection of footage on handycams and Super 8 film. It's about a man who shows his childhood and how he grew up, while highlighting how the life of his mother, who is mentally insane, affected his. I'm basically ripping off Tarnation almost entirely. It's another work on parents, but this time it's both, not just my mother. I have tapes of old footage of me as a baby and a kid, and my parents when they were a lot younger. I want to show three parts of the film with old and new footage of each member of my family: one would be a part for my Dad, another would be for my Mom, and another would be for me. Maybe I'll include my brother. At first, I was uneasy about copying Tarnation so blatantly, but something feels so right about this, like I've always wanted to do it and for that reason I don't feel any guilt at all from ripping off Tarnation. I'm even stealing this one part at the end where the guy talks into the camera while in the bathroom, except mine will be a message to my parents. If I actually follow through with this, this project will be the most personal piece of art that I've ever done. It'll be a real emotional trip, for sure. Sometimes I like to talk to myself as if I'm talking to my parents and halfway I break down in tears. I think I'm being brave by confronting the issue so directly, in addition to the fact that I'm going to have to show this to others. When the idea hit me, it felt so appropriate, like I've been waiting for this moment to address this conflict I have with my parents. Even now, it's surreal. I can't believe I'm actually thinking about going through with it, but what the hell. On another note, the drive for this piece is mainly the soundtrack. I have a bunch of songs that I love and that I know my parents loved when they were young'uns, stuff like Dancing Queen, Chicago, or Elton John. A lot of my influence for this film comes from the movie Once, which was also shot completely on a handycam. There's something gorgeous about a scene with documentary footage and a beautiful song playing in the background.
http://en.vidivodo.com/video/lies-once-ost/230617
That's the scene from Once that I want to replicate. There's this other scene where it's one shot following a girl while she sings this love song. It's great. I've yet to see La Jetee yet, but I read up on it on Wikipedia. The concept of using narration over still photos is rad. I might even watch it right now.
Well well well. I'm reading this post and I'm thinking it is time for you to graduate. You've learned all I can teach you I think, and in but one school year. Pretty awesome. You've figured out how to approach influences and ideas, how to create in any sort of "environment," if that is the right word. You listen to your gut and don't let "I must be original" get in the way, and in doing this you find your originality is always there and beyond tinkering with. It simple is or isn't and who cares. What matters is does it work and is it true. And your art now walks along beside you as your companion: you don't wait for it; it doesn't wait for you. Rather, the two move in unison, a duet of ideas, input and output. There will be times when one must catch up to the other, but there will be no more conflict between you and always an interesting direction.
ReplyDeleteLuke
One problem I find when I write songs is that I don't feel like I'm putting myself into it. There's a disconnection between me and the music, where I'm scratching at the surface of my feelings but I can't really dig in.
ReplyDeleteI really admire how you've found a project that's so completely and utterly felt. When people talk about how art helps them, saves them, lets them express questions, etc., this is it. It's direct approach. It's ballsy. It's so exposed.
I wish I had the kind of confidence that you've got to be able to do something like that. For the big mouth I have, I'm very selective on what other people know. I can admit to having mental "issues", but I can't tell you what they are, what the word is, the way it affected how I grew up, and how it still crushes my self esteem everyday because its TOO HARD for me. When I hear the word, I cringe, it makes me want to vomit. I keep on thinking I'm brave enough to confront it, but I never am, and it destroys me.
Please make this project. Please make it so we can know that it's ok to do so.